Rejuvenation of Family to Curb Extremisms
24 July, 2007
By Dr. Tanvir Hussain Bhatti
Man is a social animal; therefore, he is dependent upon others for his social needs. The presence of viable social institutions is mandatory to groom the people into reasonable citizens having balanced approach. In the contemporary world, the fate of economic, religious, political and family institutions is ubiquitously in the doldrums. Therefore, the number of enlightened smut-hounds and moderate cool cats is continuously dwindling. The degraded social institutions indoctrinate erratic emotions, which dominate the personality of a wooly back hothead pussyfooter, and the tentacles of immoderations ensnare him permanently and squeeze him perpetually. Although, the crackpot man has made much progress but ironically all his progress is counter progress. Professor Jody precisely pointed towards the deterioration of humanity in these words, “Man has learned to fly in the air like birds and acquired the skill to swim in the water like fish but he failed to find out how to walk on earth like human.”
Family is the fundamental unit and a key social institution for appropriate socialization and to bring forbearance in the individual by controlling torrent of inconsistent lyricisms. Therefore, the people whose upbringing is done in an apposite way become sensible and conscientious smart guys, and vice versa. Almost all of the obstinate lunkhead yobbos victimized by aberrant passions have some vacuum in their personality development. Human persona is like empty transparent vessel it would reflect what you infuse in it. The kith and kin care about each other’s business; therefore, there is emotional attachment among the members of the kinship. The strength and solidarity of the consanguinity depends upon the magnitude of affiliation and coherence of bond among the members. Most of the needs of the individuals are met through family. It is a source of affection, satisfaction and recreation. It acts as a shield to protect the individual from wiles of strangers and dangers besides race perpetuation.
Each family inherits a system of nomenclature with pertinent culture, traditions, values and norms. The psychologists are of the view that mental growth of the moppets and bubs completes within first five years. After this duration there is only polishing of the characters with diverse life experiences. Therefore, one can assess the circumstances of the family circle from the behaviors of the elements because actions of a person reflect his family background. David Farrington, British crime psychologist, rightly said in his article printed in The Times (London) (May 19, 1994), “Problem children tend to grow up into problem adults and problem adults tend to produce more problem children.”
As mother is the heart of each family, therefore, she can provide open-minded Comstocks and modest wowsers to the society. It has been proved that if unfortunately the mother breathes her last during the early age of the nippers, most of them are ruined. However, if unluckily father kicks the bucket, in most of the cases the mother can properly tend her orphan kiddiewinks deprived from the shadow of the male parent. Napoleon Bonaparte suitably said, “Give me good mothers and I would give you a good nation.”
There is no alternative for the parents. They have unbounded love for their children. It happens once in a blue moon that the siblings after becoming adult respect and look after their old parents, as they love and philanthropize them throughout life. Crumb-crushers imitate their parents; therefore, most of the parents who spruce up their dustbin lids excellently get the blessing of obedient jumping cats and vice versa. Most of the diddybops of broken families spoil due to indulgence in bad companies. These grunge rootiepoots seek mental contentment. Religious and vulgar immoderate can easily entice them, because they lack strong opinions and maturity. The fanatics through brainwashing provide them transitory mental satisfaction.
Well-educated mothers lick into shape their ankle-biters by inculcating moral values and ethical principles. The lap of the mother is said to be the first institution of learning. Therefore, education of the mother is indispensable to polish the sprigs to workable members of a society. Indian religious leader Ruby Manikan said, “If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family.” In our gender biased patriarchal feudal society male community is ruling the roost. Women have been physically tortured, mentally strained, socially ridiculed, politically marginalized and economically exploited. The education of female is in the balance. Therefore, to raise a voice for women rights in Pakistan is to show red rag to male chauvinist feudal bulls. No nation can progress by deliberately keeping half of its population sidelined in all avenues of life.
Children cannot be nourished in the streets and day care centers. They need a home. Production and rearing of a chickabiddy is only done in homes in the best possible way. A home remains incomplete without mother. In western countries, official duty is 8-12 hours with two holidays at the weekend. The high cost of living and capitalism has ensnared the people of the west. Therefore, parents cannot give sufficient time to their rug rats and leave them in day care centers. The doddering ageds are bound to bear the brunt of the old houses. In the Western societies this degeneration of family has given birth to individualism, selfishness and distrust. Due to dilapidation of kinship in the west; casinos, dance clubs, splurging mushy wingdings, cinemas, bawdyhouses and beaches are the excellent places of entertainment and monstrous fountainheads of innumerable social evils.
The western people have been harvesting the bitter fruits of this blatant genealogy degradation in the form of progressively increasing tempo of uncontrolled extramarital relations, constantly on the rise digit of homosexual adventures, steadily increasing number of rapes, continuously rising figure of illegitimate children, swiftly mounting divorce rate, rapidly growing suicide rate, quickly escalating sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS, Hepatitis B and syphilis, and hastily upward numeral of deeply affecting psychological illnesses, etc. To telescope a cherry in the unbridled sexually lavish west is becoming problematic.
People of the same gender in the west avoid hand shaking, hugging and staying together to avoid the label of nonconformist. They live with their opposite sex happily even without marriage. According to U.S. columnist Dave Barry,“ All life is bad, but family life is worse” The legitimacy of gay marriages and licensing of cathouses in some of the grubby cultured developed countries are the zeniths of the repercussions of the hearth and home ruin. They are treading on the course of self-immolation. Renowned poet Allama Muhammad Iqbal forecasted this degradation in these golden words: “Tumhari tehzeeb apne he khanjar se khud kushi kare gi; Shakhe nazuk pe jo asheana bane ga wo na-paidar ho ga (Your civilization would commit suicide with your own dagger; the nest that is formed on the delicate twig would be shaky.)
In our western inspired society, due to intermingling of opposite genders at educational institutions, neighborhoods, offices etc., the development of sensual attachments among the couples and love marriages are becoming very common. Some of these nuptials are successful, but most of them culminate in divorce because the couples lose their ambition and goal after marriage. In most of the cases the families of one or both spouses have an aversion to the wedding. The parents of some couples reject them and they set a house apart from their relatives. In case of family conflicts, there is no one to resolve them. Therefore, majority of the run-away matches conclude in civil litigations and termination of conjugality. The use of drugs of addiction, involvement in crimes, selling of kidneys to stand on their own feet, entangling in the snare of devious persons and committing of suicide is very common among these affection couples.
Today, divorce seems to be the penicillin to cure to all marriage related tribulations in the west. Married couples who are struggling with personal and business gauntlets don't bother to fix the problem and avoid divorce. Instead, they embrace it and see divorce as an easy, expedient conclusion to a bad marriage. Now, a divorce is cooking for the odd stick fat-arse author of ‘The Satanic Verses’ and his Top Chef host wife, Padma Lakshmi, but it was a little unclear who was stirring the pot. Lakshmi, 36 said that she "has agreed with her husband-author, Salman Rushdie, to end their marriage." in a statement released by her publicist, Christina Papadopoulos. The statement issued by the host of the hit Bravo reality cooking show and the author of the Easy Exotic cookbook continued to say, “After an eight-year relationship including over three years of marriage, Lakshmi regrets that their mutual efforts failed to make the marriage work.” It means that the sewer mouth alligator and the paraffin lamp splash have five years spurious correlation, which is a pictogram of novelty in the west.
The traditional joint family system acts as a small economic unit. The members of the clan work coherently and share their feelings, which help them in socialization and development of tolerance. In these alliances, there are strong moral values, ethical principals, social customs and collective traditions, which are compulsory primary instruments to keep check and balance on the individuals. Now the number of extended families is continuously shrinking due to their replacement with nuclear families. Individualism and materialism, due to idealization of the western culture, have given birth to egocentrism. Owing to the vitiation of the folks at home, there is gradual decline of moral and religious control on the populace.
Millions of the people in the west lead an individual life. This individualism has generated selfishness and psychological illnesses in the western society. On April 16,2007,on the Virginia Teck Campus in Blacksburg, Viginia (U.S) Seung-Hui Cho of South Korea murdered 32 people and injured 25 before committing suicide, making it the deadliest shooting in modern U.S. history. He was suffering from psychological illness due to living an individual life. Eat, drink and be merry has become the sole aim of life in the developed countries. Now the effects of this inhuman degeneration have permeated in the posh areas of the developing countries that idealize western civilization. There is something beyond leisure that distinguishes man from animals.
Each nation is a throng of families and each family is a bunch of its members. Therefore, good families breed a good nation. The world is facing the spate of fanatic incidents. Therefore, there is crying need of rejuvenation of family institutions to alleviate the menace of extremisms and to develop tolerance in society. Media should launch an unprecedented crusade for promoting unity and fraternity among the individuals instead of promoting eccentricity. Parents should indoctrinate moral principles and ethical values to their siblings in addition to materialistic schooling. They are bound to provide learning to their children in all arenas of life. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said, “No present or gift of a parent, out of all gifts and presents to a child, is superior to a good liberal education”.